Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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thread 1/5
I keep seeing that meme that says many things, including "Men know when they are raping someone" and it is sticking in my head.
09:29 AM - May 10, 2024
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Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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thread 2/5
The thing about entitlement - and rape culture - is that: no. Men *don't* always know when they are raping someone. They are so accustomed to believing desire is justification that they either don't comprehend the personhood of the person they rape, or they can't imagine dissent to what they want.
09:29 AM - May 10, 2024
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Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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thread 3/5
We also have a deep culture, and this I believe is worldwide, but it's uniquely troublesome in American pop culture, with centuries-long traditions of horrifying relationship modeling. Stalking is "love" - persistence is heroic - dominance is sexy - and on and on.
09:29 AM - May 10, 2024
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Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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thread 4/5
It's the entire root of cishet relationship dynamics - "be a man" being the ultimate goal AND justification. But it's not just for us.

Obsession, in particular, is treated as the ultimate - as not merely acceptable, but as the pinnacle of romantic expression.
09:29 AM - May 10, 2024
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Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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thread 5/5
The blurred definition of, understanding of, and acknowledgement of rape helps to uphold rape culture, white supremacy, all of it.

Women have to be apologists. Men have to be kept unaware of what rape even *is*. They can't see themselves as rapists or none of it would work.
09:29 AM - May 10, 2024 (Edited)
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Bren
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In response to Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé.
Right here. I was reading an article not long ago about the song "Every Breath You Take" being chosen for weddings. Sting said he was surprised because of the stalker vibes. I didn't put that in quotes because it's not his exact words but what I assumed that he meant.
01:31 PM - May 10, 2024
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Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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In response to Bren.
And that at least is the saving grace - they KNEW it was not a love song, never pretended it was. People just... ugggghhh.
07:52 PM - May 10, 2024
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WestCoaster
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In response to Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé.
"Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you."
09:50 AM - May 10, 2024
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Honey and pepper and roses en déshabillé
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In response to WestCoaster.
YES. Not even written at a love song, yet ubiquitously played at weddings!!!
12:22 PM - May 10, 2024
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