Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/8
14 pretty good tweets of yore:

rejectedjokes
Oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea this was your Sharona.

Super_Cynthia
What if OUIJA boards just make you move the planchette around to where it wants to be scratched

danjan13
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets.
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
0
0
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/8
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets.

KeithOlbermann
If you're not planning on overdoing it for your Mom today, overdo it for all the rest of us who would give anything to overdo it for ours.
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
1
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/8
sketchesbyboze
honestly any day you don't spend napping beneath the umbrella of a large mushroom, waiting for a hedge-sparrow to bring you a letter from your one true love who lives in the knot of a tree on the other side of the woods, is a day wasted.

KattsDogma
"You have a BA? Ooooh!
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
0
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/8
Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD."
- 3rd degree burn

Sarah_Boxer
So in less than an hour out of the new CDC mask guidance, I just went outside and pulled mine down. A nearby construction worker immediately told me to “Smile.
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
0
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/8

I will miss masks for some reasons that are not pandemic-related.

kentwgraham
I just depleted the earth of 14 gallons of fresh water cleaning out a peanut butter jar for recycling.

_Bad_Karma
So if oil is made from decomposed dinosaurs, and plastic is made from oil...
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
0
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 6/8
then plastic dinosaurs are made from REAL dinosaurs!?!?

GianDoh
The opening ceremony for our ribbon repair business was pretty confusing.

nycsouthpaw
What a year this week has been.
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
0
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 7/8
HMittelmark
Reasons to buy the cow when you can get the milk for free
Investment
Steak
Novelty
Cow matches decor
Swore would someday own cow
Just like cows
Conversation starter
No appropriate container for milk other than cow
Status symbol
Mistake, thought it was dog
Independent thinker

AlexKi
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
0
Selena Maranjian
A
thread 8/8
ngA113
"I put you into this world, I can take you out of this world too" #MothersDayQuotes

@ohnoshetwitnt
My coworker who doesn’t believe in vaccines takes off work every Friday the 13th because she’s afraid of bad luck.
01:06 PM - May 13, 2024
0
1

 

{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}