Scott Johnson
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I honestly had no idea that this word is offensive to some women.
06:49 AM - Mar 12, 2023
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The Mighty OCD
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In response to Scott Johnson.
This is nuts. I say ma'am to all women. Whether they are 5 or 95. That's the way my mamma taught me and if you're offended, tough shit. I'm gonna hold the door for you too. Don't call the cops.
08:44 AM - Mar 12, 2023
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Andrea Loken
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Have you considered that for some, this feels like you’d rather erase them than acknowledge who they really are? If someone asks me not to call them miss or ma’am, I’m fine with it because it’s important to actually respect how people wish to be treated. It’s the Golden Rule, worth living by.
In response to The Mighty OCD.
09:30 AM - Mar 12, 2023
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The Mighty OCD
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In response to Andrea Loken.
I was referring to strangers, people on the phone, at the bank. Of course if someone asks me not to call them something, I won't anymore than I would deadname someone.
10:32 AM - Mar 12, 2023
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Andrea Loken
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In response to The Mighty OCD.
Ah - got it (the pitfalls of social media exchanges). Yes, it's difficult with strangers. My go-to is to ask "do you prefer miss, ma'am or ms?"

I just wish folks hadn't felt the historical need for separate terms for married, unmarried & divorced women. I guess we'll figure it out one day...?
04:12 PM - Mar 12, 2023
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Bren
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In response to Andrea Loken.
I agree if someone asks me not to call them ma'am I wouldnt but to be instantly offended by it in an every stranger to stranger encounter is the person's issue about aging.
09:43 AM - Mar 12, 2023
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Andrea Loken
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In response to Bren.
I appreciate that - that is real respect.

Re ma’am vs miss, the real issue might be with a sexist society that insisted upon a delineation for women (ma’am was originally only for married women, so unmarried women remained miss - & later on, divorced women were Ms.), but guys just get sir.
09:57 AM - Mar 12, 2023
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