Any sober people on here? I need help. I'm 41 days alcohol free but my sister just died and I don't know what to do. How do you stay sober through this? AA is not my sober path and I don't know what to do.
07:13 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Just checking in to see how you’re doing. Let us know how we cab can continue to support you.
09:56 PM - Apr 24, 2023
In response to Kimberlee (Kimbrûlée).
I'm hanging in there. Still not drinking. So grateful for all the strangers who reached out to help and support me in one of my lowest moments. Forever grateful.
Thank you so much for checking in on me.
Thank you so much for checking in on me.
10:01 PM - Apr 24, 2023
(Edited)
In response to Andrea Gooder.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself. Try to be in the moment you’re in and not look too far ahead. It can seem overwhelming. Just one choice at a time. You got this.
09:53 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
You can go through anything! Take it 1 second at a time, 1 minute at a time, 1 hour at a time, sobriety is our responsibility, not someone else's. Meditate, and invite your higher power into your life as you navigate this evening. Invite in your higher power often tonight and as long as you need to!
09:46 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you find some support here.
Asking for help is always hard, but it really is good.
In the meantime I'm always here to talk Star Trek or whatever when you need a distraction.
Asking for help is always hard, but it really is good.
In the meantime I'm always here to talk Star Trek or whatever when you need a distraction.
09:30 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Dedicate every single second you are sober to the memory of your sister. She would not want you to stop being sober because of her. Do it for her and for you, every moment of every day. Isn't that what she would want you to do? Also, that will help to keep her with you, always...
09:17 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
...no matter what, you don't drink. Community is important. If you don't have a home group, find one. aahomegroup.org they are there 24/7
09:03 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Not sober, but my friends who are did it through support and community. Maybe find a meeting online to start? Like right now. Getting through the loss of your sister is hard enough - don’t do it alone. Sending you peace, and may her memory be a blessing.
08:59 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
I have had half your problem. Lost my brother 8yrs ago. I had to make room to feel all the feels: complete anguish, regret, anger...everything. Cried ugly whenever I needed to. It hits you out of nowhere.
Therapy if you can. AA meeting if possible.
Therapy if you can. AA meeting if possible.
08:53 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Peace to your sister’s memory 🕯️for you and all who cherish her.
Hospice organizations offer grief counseling, groups & referral regardless if a person was on their service.
I’m the child of a recovered alcoholic.
Find you tribe. This time of grief and uncertainty is meant to be shared.
Hospice organizations offer grief counseling, groups & referral regardless if a person was on their service.
I’m the child of a recovered alcoholic.
Find you tribe. This time of grief and uncertainty is meant to be shared.
08:52 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Echoing your spout in hopes someone may have an answer to your question..... and extending my condolences on the loss of your sister.
08:36 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
35 + years sober, used AA. I have been through the passing of friends and family. Be open and honest with other sober people. They are the support you need. Don’t try to do this alone. You don’t have to.
08:32 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
AA was not my direction either, but I think being around people that know and understand one part of your pain might make the grief for your sister more bearable. Even one person can help make a difference. It's not one day at a time, it's the next ten minutes. On repeat.
08:32 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
The pain you feel when you lose someone means you love them and care about them. It's normal to feel the way you do. I will encourage you to find a therapist to help you process your grief. Distraction helps to meter out the pain in manageable doses.
08:24 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Sorry to hear about your loss.
It's never easy.
Talking to people about it is good.
Feel free to send me a msg, if you want.
I'm alcohol free for almost 14 years now.
You can do it.
It's never easy.
Talking to people about it is good.
Feel free to send me a msg, if you want.
I'm alcohol free for almost 14 years now.
You can do it.
08:22 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
First of all, my condolences for your loss.
I don't have a personal experience to share, I think you should find people (friends, family or professional help) you can trust & confide in. It's obviously easy to "fall off the wagon" in times of stress. Wishing you well. Also a Trekkie!
I don't have a personal experience to share, I think you should find people (friends, family or professional help) you can trust & confide in. It's obviously easy to "fall off the wagon" in times of stress. Wishing you well. Also a Trekkie!
08:19 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Sorry for your loss, that's terrible.
I am over a decade straight and dry, but I've never had to go through that. The fact that you are writing the question, not drinking, shows you have the strength to continue.
Find a dry friend/ family member and stick to them.
I am over a decade straight and dry, but I've never had to go through that. The fact that you are writing the question, not drinking, shows you have the strength to continue.
Find a dry friend/ family member and stick to them.
08:12 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to TheGoodBuck.
Society enforces drinking. "It's your birthday, why aren't you drinking?" Find sober company. Also, when I first quit I couldn't fill the endless hours.
I took up running. It helps a lot. Burns off stress, cleans your head out, and gives me some purpose.
I took up running. It helps a lot. Burns off stress, cleans your head out, and gives me some purpose.
08:16 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
I'm sorry for your loss
You did the right thing by reaching out
Hoping you get the sober help you need
You got this!! 🧡
You did the right thing by reaching out
Hoping you get the sober help you need
You got this!! 🧡
08:11 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
So sorry for your loss. Cannot give much advice regarding staying sober, BUT maybe try meditation/mindful yoga? There are free videos available (if you are up for it, check out i.e. Yoga with Adriene). Encouragement to love your body, keep breathing, no matter what, is a great guide for life IMO.
08:08 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Sending positivity your way. For me, small, manageable tasks are helpful…cleaning the junk drawer, cleaning out the fridge, etc., are great to expend anxiousness and help time pass. Also, finding a small way to pamper myself helps. 💖
07:56 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
So sorry for your loss. I don't have the specific information that you're seeking... but, when my husband died, I found a grief counselor. It was very helpful. Also, try to surround yourself with family and friends that will uplift you. Wishing you the very best.
07:52 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Trying to remain sober w/o AA can be tough. My dad was the same. He was a confirmed atheist and found all the God stuff offensive. But you know what? He managed to do it, and you can too. We all go through pain & loss. We stumble & fall. You're not alone. You are seen. You will find a path thru💛
07:51 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Oh, one more thing:
Instead of saying no/experiencing & inviting deprivation, say yes/experience & invite #Abundance .
Ie, don't create a vacuum by taking something away, eliminate the void by putting something healthy in an unwanted thing's place.
Such as, dance vs. drink, play vs. use, etc.
#Sober
Instead of saying no/experiencing & inviting deprivation, say yes/experience & invite #Abundance .
Ie, don't create a vacuum by taking something away, eliminate the void by putting something healthy in an unwanted thing's place.
Such as, dance vs. drink, play vs. use, etc.
#Sober
07:44 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
41 days is a great accomplishment and you absolutely know that having a drink(s) will not make you feel better and will not ease the pain of losing your sister. I am very sorry this happened. Losing a sibling is hard.
07:44 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Oh no! I'm so sorry. At the risk of sounding cliché, one moment at a time. I can't imagine what you're going through. I hope you can stay strong.
07:44 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Hi Andrea--First thing: congrats on your 41 days. I'm coming up on 24 years sober, but I remember early sobriety as if it was yesterday. What saved my ass during some really hard times was taking alternative action whenever the urge to drink hit.
07:41 PM - Apr 22, 2023
(Edited)
In response to Donna Frahmann.
Didn't matter what the other action was. Could be taking a walk, cleaning the kitchen, calling somebody (which worked well for me when I could make myself do it) or even sitting in the car with the windows rolled up and screaming. As long as I didn't pick up a drink, I couldn't get drunk. /2
07:50 PM - Apr 22, 2023
(Edited)
In response to Andrea Gooder.
I’ve never been in your shoes but you have support here. I’m sorry that you’re hurting and the way you feel right now is understandable so don’t beat yourself up for having thoughts. It’s hard to reach out and be vulnerable especially so publicly. You should be proud of yourself for that.
07:39 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Dear Andrea, you found strength in your sister's presence, so know that her memory and the gift of every moment you shared with her is proof that she's still with you, supporting you and believing in you. Embrace that, know that, and surround yourself in that Love & the Love of others. 🙏🏾❤️👊🏾
07:38 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Listen to these biolateral beats. Look up meditation on paired muscle relaxation. Practice doing these while listening to beats. Accupuncture is great for grief. Consider Ketamine treatment for grief and addiction. I can give more info if you need. Listen to some East Forest. You’ve got this. 2/2
07:38 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Losing a sibling is a gut punch. It takes your breath away and leaves you feeling as if you can’t quite find your footing.
I’m proud of you for asking for help. You’re very brave to reach out.
When I lost my brother, I began to sew a quilt. Every stitch is a valued memory.
Hugs,
-April 💛
I’m proud of you for asking for help. You’re very brave to reach out.
When I lost my brother, I began to sew a quilt. Every stitch is a valued memory.
Hugs,
-April 💛
07:36 PM - Apr 22, 2023
In response to Andrea Gooder.
Psychic hug vibes being sent your way. If you need someone to talk to maybe a crisis hotline can help. They are available 24/7 and are great listeners.
Call: 988
Text: “CONNECT” to 855-11
Substance abuse: (800) 662-4357
Call: 988
Text: “CONNECT” to 855-11
Substance abuse: (800) 662-4357
07:36 PM - Apr 22, 2023
