Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 1/20
#Adoption

I would like to preface this by stating that because Aaron @beec4240 and Kace @FruitFacedFruitKace have been so generous in sharing some deeply personal and tough stories it gave me the courage to write this.
10:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 2/20
This is very personal and something I never see talked about, maybe on a specialized forum, but never on a mainstream one. It is about adoption, but more than that.
10:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 3/20
What do I expect from putting this out to others? Nothing, other than this has been on my mind for years and if you have the same experience, which I imagine many people do. Know you are not alone, as I thought maybe I was.
10:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 4/20
I was adopted at age 2 ½, and I found out when I was 17. It was upsetting, of course. I was not told anything about my birth family. I was under the impression that nothing was known.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 5/20
It was not until I was a bit older that I started to think about the strange words I had encountered from people as I moved through my life.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 6/20
I don’t know why the things that were said were said, I can only presume it was because of the way I looked. My first memory was when I was still quite young, walking down the street with my mom, and some guy sitting beside a building yelled out an antisemitic slur.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 7/20
Kids at school always called me a witch, that’s fine. I did not mind that so much, I was curious as to why, but as the saying goes, kids will be kids, or at least that was the saying back in the 50s and 60s.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 8/20
Many other odd occurrences at places like libraries, shops etc, things said, lost now in the mists of time, but always I had this feeling of confusion.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 9/20
As I got older and started to work, I ran across some instances of people not wanting me to serve them. One lady was talking to another co-worker and pointing at me, she said she did not want “that Indian woman” to serve her.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 10/20
In one instance I was helping a customer select jewellery. She looked me up and down and said, “What are you?” I replied “Pardon? She said, “You know, what are you?” I finally caught on and said, “Oh I am Atlantian.” She said, “I thought they sunk.” I said. “We’re back. “ She walked out.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 11/20
There have been many instances of people asking, “What are you?” “Where do you come from?” or presuming I am one heritage or another.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 12/20
And one guy, a few years back, when I said I did not know as I was adopted, he said, “You can get a DNA test you know.” “I replied with, “Wow, just wow.” His friend tried to get him to leave as he could see I was ramping up for a big battle.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 13/20
I work in a First Nations gallery and have for 19 years now. I get asked quite a bit, what tribe I am or people persuming I am First Nations because of my looks and where I am working. The ladies I work with are First Nations and people ask them too.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 14/20
I might add, that this is not the way to show support or to gain knowledge about a culture or people. Read and then read some more, and listen.
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 15/20
The interesting thing is, until a year ago this December I did not know my heritage, and could not even guess at it. Now of course I have some information as I sent for my adoption records, something I never thought I would do, but it makes sense for my daughter and grandkids.
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 16/20
So If I did not know, how was anyone else so sure that I was the person they wanted to hate or not be served by? Why was it so important for people to ask what I was, or where I came from? Why were people making presumptions about me or anyone? What would that information do for their life?
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 17/20
I had always thought I was a child of the universe and that is what I told many people who would ask me.
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 18/20
No person, certainly no one you have not built up a relationship with wants to be quizzed on personal and maybe painful areas of their life. When you build a relationship, I have found without fail, people open up and they will tell you what they want to, you don’t need to pry.
10:46 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 19/20
If you find yourself wanting to ask personal things about a stranger, hold off. Think about why you want to do that. Putting anyone in a compartment with a label is disgusting.
10:50 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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thread 20/20
If you have such hatred for yourself that you are looking to find a reason to feel above anyone else, think hard about changing and improving yourself.

Thank you for reading.
10:51 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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9Gen
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In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Thank you for sharing. We can't learn if you don't teach us.
11:48 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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Carla Reid + Chilla
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In response to 9Gen.
Thanks. The more real stories from the actual person the better, maybe, the world can be. If you don't know a story you can't know the pain or struggle in someone's life, and then you won't be able to change, to feel empathy, to know that every human has pain, has a story.
11:51 AM - Oct 21, 2023
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