AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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thread 1/4
I wrote this back in 2016 after a close friend killed themself.

My father committed suicide when I was 12. But that sounds so distant and clinical and doesn’t quite give the full flavor of the situation.
11:04 PM - Jan 02, 2024 (Edited)
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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thread 2/4
What he did was kill himself and leave his 12 year old daughter behind to live with the never-ending remorse, guilt, regret and unfathomable loss that is unique to survivors whose parents chose to leave them in such a deliberate, I’m never coming back, fuck you, kind of way.
11:04 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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thread 3/4
This is something I’ve kept mostly secret because I felt such shame and discomfort whenever I imagined sharing it with anyone, but if my sharing this story keeps just one single person from having to live through this kind of loss, then it’s time I share.
11:04 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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thread 4/4
If you ever think your voluntary departure from your children, spouse, parents or loved ones is something they’ll get over, please listen to me when I tell you that you’re wrong. You are so very, very wrong.
https://988lifeline.org/
11:04 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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Isa-Lee Wolf
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
💙💙💙💙I'm so sorry.
04:26 PM - Mar 16, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to Isa-Lee Wolf.
Thank you Isa.
04:34 PM - Mar 16, 2024
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Pamela
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
Thank you for sharing. Please know you have nothing to feel ashamed about. ❤️
I hope your message resonates with anyone who may be contemplating suicide.
10:04 AM - Jan 04, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to Pamela.
Thanks Pamela, me too.
12:21 PM - Jan 04, 2024
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K Ray
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
Your heartbreaking personal story, and guidance is such a lovely gift to anyone out there that is unwell, hurting, and in great need of medical care. Thank you for sharing. How sad that you had to experience such losses. Your Dad was obviously not well.
12:13 AM - Jan 03, 2024
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PS Annie
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
It's very generous of you to share this. Your experience is compelling and could reach someone who needs to hear it. Thank you.
Having said that, I'm truly sorry that you you went through that. It's terrible at any age, but it's hideous at that age. 💛
11:19 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to PS Annie.
Yeah, I won't lie, that year (and a number of them afterward) hurt like hell. When my friend killed themself, I was unwilling to keep quiet any longer. Since then I've gotten a semicolon tattoo and I reach out more than before. It's gotten easier and easier to talk about.
11:22 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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Barbara Reid
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
Thank you for sharing this, April. It's so generous of you to open up about something so painful in hopes of helping another person. 💖
11:18 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to Barbara Reid.
Thank you Barbara. We have to get better at talking about mental illness and letting others know we're here if they need us.
11:20 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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hmmwrites (Heather's version)
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
I'm so sorry for your gutting loss at such a young age. I hope you know, deep in your soul, that there's no shame on your shoulders. Thank you for your vulnerability in telling us here - I do hope it helps someone else with their own pain.
11:17 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to hmmwrites (Heather's version).
Thank you Heather. I've gotten so much more comfortable sharing this story since then. I have a semicolon tattoo that is representative of suicide awareness and if sharing my story helps even one person, it was 100% worth it.
11:19 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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April Sparkles
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
I’m happy you shared this.

At the same time, I’m sad you lost your Dad in a way that left a profound, unanswered question in your young heart.

There’s no shame here. You were a child with no control over an adult decision.

Letting people know your story could help heal another’s wounds.

💛
11:12 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to April Sparkles.
I got an amazing step-dad in the aftermath & he's been a truly amazing dad since but yeah, losing a parent is hard, losing a parent to suicide is, well it's unfathomable. I hope sharing my story will stop someone from doing something like this & forever hurting those they leave behind.
11:14 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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