theonion.com
Snickering Teen Angels Appear Before Mike Pence To Tell Him It’s Totally God’s Will To Keep Running For President
CARMEL, IN—Struggling to keep a straight face while addressing the Republican candidate, snickering teen angels reportedly appeared before Mike Pence Friday to tell him it was totally God’s will that he keep running for president. “God told us to tell you that He needs you to be commander-in-chief, ..
12:51 PM - Sep 22, 2023
At least now we know the Department of Justice can indict members of Congress.
The Senators and Representatives who conspired with Trump must be shitting bricks right now.
The Senators and Representatives who conspired with Trump must be shitting bricks right now.
03:25 PM - Sep 22, 2023
Donnie you need to rush in and plead guilty in Federal Court. No jumpsuit. They give you khakis to wear. And if you don't like their khakis you can order some you do like if you have any money left by then.
03:20 PM - Sep 22, 2023
It's true though
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Sabine Savvidis @SabineSavvidis"The solution is very, very simple. Stop playing political games with peoples’ lives. Republicans should abide by the bipartisan deal we made in May which two thirds of House Republicans voted for.
A. Deal. Is. A. Deal."03:18 PM - Sep 22, 2023![Karine Jean-Pierre on House Republicans]()
03:19 PM - Sep 22, 2023
No, just no. Denim leggings are not ever going to be a part of my wardrobe and, adjacent to the point, why would I care who wears what? I don’t even know who this is, honestly. Manufacturers paid for this article because they have warehouses full of these sadistic inventions to unload.
11:14 AM - Sep 21, 2023
Only followers of this user (beec4240) can see their posts
I wrote a thing: "steaming pantload Jim Jordan wastes everyone’s time on another idiotic hearing." thanks for reading, and please sign onto my mailing list to make sure you never miss a post —
11:02 AM - Sep 21, 2023
This spout was removed because the account associated with it was suspended.
11:38 AM - Sep 21, 2023
Scenes like this give me hope for the country
#TrumpMugshot - YouTube
TRUMP MUGSHOT JUST DROPPED #TrumpMugshotThe Lincoln Project is a leading pro-democracy organization in the United States — dedicated to the preservation, pro...
09:35 PM - Aug 24, 2023
In response to Christopher Bouzy.
Which is why I just migrated over here. It's about to get messy,
10:01 PM - Aug 24, 2023
congratulations to the literally zero Republicans who stood up to denounce the white supremacist 'day of hate'. take a victory lap, you spineless fucking cowards
11:01 AM - Feb 26, 2023
Screaming NEVER SURRENDER an hour after you literally just surrendered yourself is peak stupid.
10:09 PM - Aug 24, 2023
This spout was removed because the account associated with it was suspended.
05:51 PM - Aug 24, 2023
They screwed over women.
They screwed over LGBTQ folks.
They screwed over younger folks.
They screwed over people of color.
Why? Because they do not believe there will be any electoral consequences.
Make. Them. Pay.
They screwed over LGBTQ folks.
They screwed over younger folks.
They screwed over people of color.
Why? Because they do not believe there will be any electoral consequences.
Make. Them. Pay.
08:08 AM - Jul 01, 2023
it's Saturday, and it's time for 'this week in stupid.' Bongino gets bounced, justice gets trounced, and so much more ... thanks for reading, and do sign onto my mailing list to make sure you never miss a post —
11:41 AM - Jul 01, 2023
“Prosecutors are now prepared to ‘stack’ an ‘additional 30 to 45 charges’ on top of the 37-count indictment… "
This is gonna get ugly. Those on the right are gonna scream about it incessantly.
This is gonna get ugly. Those on the right are gonna scream about it incessantly.
05:04 PM - Jun 29, 2023
THE ONION
"At press time, the state had filed a lawsuit against a WIC recipient after her baby made his first smile."
"At press time, the state had filed a lawsuit against a WIC recipient after her baby made his first smile."
theonion.com
Georgia Cuts Welfare Benefits For Recipients Caught Experiencing Happiness
ATLANTA—In a renewed effort to crack down on fraud, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp (R) reportedly signed a new law Thursday cutting welfare benefits for recipients who were caught experiencing happiness. “If even the slightest gleam of anything but abject misery is detected in their eye, all benefits will ..
05:07 PM - Jun 29, 2023
For the next installment of #DailyPictureTheme I think of one thing and only one thing if someone says #Fragile
06:19 AM - Jun 27, 2023
Jeff Tiedrich
12:53 PM - Jun 27, 2023
You must be the sentient body of water you wish to see in the world.
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Frank the Bunny @ZomBunnyFrankI find it a bit disappointing that with all of these bodies of water joining Spoutible, the largest natural freshwater lake West of the Mississippi, Flathead Lake, has not jumped on here yet.12:40 PM - Jun 27, 2023
12:55 PM - Jun 27, 2023
The justices by a 6-3 vote upheld a decision by North Carolina’s top court that struck down a congressional districting plan as excessively partisan under state law.
12:38 PM - Jun 27, 2023
Thom Hartmann
Great column!
Great column!
12:38 PM - Jun 27, 2023
Only followers of this user (PeggyMueller) can see their posts
The Supreme Court May Preemptively Ban a Federal Wealth Tax
Given the recent ethics questions about justices’ interactions with billionaires, it’s an interesting case to take on now
#SCOTUSIsCorrupt https://newrepublic.com/post/173913/supreme-court-may-pre-emptively-ban-federal-wealth-tax
Given the recent ethics questions about justices’ interactions with billionaires, it’s an interesting case to take on now
#SCOTUSIsCorrupt https://newrepublic.com/post/173913/supreme-court-may-pre-emptively-ban-federal-wealth-tax
12:47 PM - Jun 27, 2023
SOOOOOO glad to see you. I've been waiting on the app to transition from the 💀🐦 but man I was missing you! I went looking for you & saw you pretty much left/stopped tweeting & then found you here. Hooray!
I hope you are well.
I hope you are well.
12:40 PM - Jun 27, 2023
Beginning to thonk that it would be safer in Russia and Ukraine than Florida.
https://www.newsnationnow.com/us-news/southeast/florida-homeowner-shoots-at-pool-cleaner-he-mistook-...
https://www.newsnationnow.com/us-news/southeast/florida-homeowner-shoots-at-pool-cleaner-he-mistook-...
12:42 PM - Jun 27, 2023
I find it a bit disappointing that with all of these bodies of water joining Spoutible, the largest natural freshwater lake West of the Mississippi, Flathead Lake, has not jumped on here yet.
12:40 PM - Jun 27, 2023
