Matlock
A
My Sporbify: https://open.spotify.com/a...

Figured I should have at least one spout linking to my music. The above link goes to my Spotify page and you can figure it out from there. If you all listen to me I could make $0.24 this month.

#music
11:13 AM - Feb 16, 2023
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Matlock
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Life advice: live in such a way that #Kendrick does not release a miniseries of diss tracks about you
08:44 PM - May 05, 2024
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Matlock
A
thread 2 Threaded Spouts
One of the best sports documentaries I've ever seen. Informative, entertaining, bizarre, and deeply moving. This is just part 1 of 2.
The Bob Emergency: a study of athletes named Bob, Part I | Chart Party - YouTube

More than 10,000 people named Bob have entered the world of sports. Today, there are only nine. Bobs are special people, and in losing them to retirement, we...

08:52 PM - May 03, 2024
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Matlock
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Accomplishments:

finished cleaning apartment ❌
got good sleep ❌
pooped twice today before noon ✅
02:45 PM - May 02, 2024
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Matlock
A
My phone now shows "Nuisance Likely" for calls from unknown numbers. I think it's become self-aware, as it now understands what phone calls are.
08:21 PM - May 01, 2024
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Matlock
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Annoyed with how much work it takes sometimes to just be a decent person. You mean I spent all my energy being 0.00003% nicer today and now I gotta do it AGAIN tomorrow? scam
08:15 PM - May 01, 2024
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Matlock
A
Oh good it looks like I'm catching one of the early busses today
12:25 PM - May 01, 2024
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Matlock
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People tell me I haven't achieved anything in life, but I got 30 million points in Balatro the other day. Could an underachiever do that? 😎😎😎
08:20 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 29 Threaded Spouts
Okay I've had my fun but now I've had some time to seriously consider the #ManVsBear trend going around. I had an initial red flag reaction to it, and the more I've thought, the more red flaggy this is, so here's a thread on why I intensely hate this kind of discussion:
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
A
Hell yeah I'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a man!

*I hold my finger to my ear as my handler whispers something into my earpiece*

Oh, a bear is an ANIMAL?
08:13 PM - Apr 29, 2024
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Milla Mélomane
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Ethan Hawke on poetry
10:32 AM - Apr 29, 2024
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Matlock
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All this anger just shows everyone is emotionally immature and incapable of reason. Not MY anger, though, my anger is always righteous
02:42 AM - Apr 29, 2024
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Matlock
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Finally saw "The Thing," both the Carpenter version from 1982 and the remake in 2011. The 1982 version is better.
02:14 AM - Apr 28, 2024
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Matlock
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y'all sleeping on Diogenes, but to be fair, this list is stacked
Matlock @keyofw
Inspired by a reddit thread, which of the following dead celebrities would you like to bring back, solely to see how wild their social media would be?

Diogenes

Oscar Wilde

Dorothy Parker

Mark Twain

Katherine Hepburn

06:06 PM - Apr 25, 2024
01:20 PM - Apr 27, 2024
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Matlock
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I see #cringe is already trending this morning. Come on guys you know I don't like it when you all talk about me behind my back
01:52 PM - Apr 26, 2024
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Matlock
A
Inspired by a reddit thread, which of the following dead celebrities would you like to bring back, solely to see how wild their social media would be?

Diogenes

Oscar Wilde

Dorothy Parker

Mark Twain

Katherine Hepburn

31 votes — 06:06 PM - Apr 25, 2024
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Matlock
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Happy April 25th. All you need is a light jacket.
05:48 PM - Apr 25, 2024
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Matlock
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I've been feeling particularly lazy and tired this week, good thing video games exist
05:20 PM - Apr 25, 2024
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Matlock
A
The Millennial Ironic Joke Sequence:

1. say what i mean sincerely
2. say what i mean jokingly
3. say what i don't mean jokingly
4. say what i don't mean sincerely

If I do this well, you won't know what step I'm on
01:44 PM - Apr 24, 2024
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Matlock
A
Common Brazilian W
Christopher Bouzy @cbouzy
I have received Twitter DMs about releasing a localized version of Spoutible in Portuguese for nearly a week. Apparently, Brazilians who are migrating to Bluesky think it sucks. We have made it a priority and will complete it in two weeks.
07:37 PM - Apr 11, 2024
01:55 AM - Apr 24, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 2 Threaded Spouts
I'm getting increasing red flag vibes from the word "nuance" being used online. I'm aware that, generally, it means we should not traffic in generalities and extremes, but all too often it comes across as waffling in the middle between a clearly correct opinion and a clearly wrong one.
01:01 PM - Apr 23, 2024
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Matlock
A
Happy #EarthDay everyone. We get an entire day and none of the other planets in our solar system, or even the universe, get one. The rest of our galaxy taking fat Ls day after day. Earth supremacy gang
07:04 PM - Apr 22, 2024
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Matlock
A
Me: and that's why I think we should move to a four-day work week

Guy who only knows how to say the word 'Finklestein': Finklestein
02:55 PM - Apr 22, 2024
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Matlock
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If you think you're going to live 10 more years, C is the better option because it takes 10 years on $4k a week to make 2 million. Of course, that's not counting for inflation.

(originally typed 20 year instead of 10 on this because I don't proofread my posts)
Charlie Ricci @Bloggerhythms
If I got $4,000 a week for life or $2,000,000 cash in a lump sum I'd never have to worry about my credit score, because with my lifestyle I'd never have to borrow money again. If I live 10 more years I'd come out ahead with the weekly payments ($208,000) so that's my choice. What would guys you do?
01:52 PM - Apr 21, 2024
01:44 PM - Apr 22, 2024
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Matlock
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Okay, I love me some Panda Express, but if I eat it I absolutely CANNOT be more than 200 feet from a toilet at any time
02:37 AM - Apr 22, 2024
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Matlock
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Note to newbies from #Post . There is no algorithm. Every time you see a terrible pun or groan-worthy attempt at humor, it's your fault for following me
03:02 PM - Apr 20, 2024
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Matlock
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Hello, people migrating over from #Post . A little tip on how to use #Spoutible : make sure you keep a good balance between vowels and consonants in your spouts! Avoid something too vowel-heavy like "aeeaioioiaauuueeeiioius"
01:44 PM - Apr 20, 2024
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Matlock
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this one's for all the cats of spoutible

pspspspspspspspspspspspspspspsps
12:37 AM - Apr 20, 2024
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Matlock
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Just got done hosting a "Radio Hour" on a music discord server. Lots of fun, lots of great music
10:43 PM - Apr 19, 2024
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Matlock
A
thread 7 Threaded Spouts
IMPORTANT THREAD FOR DISCORD USERS

This thread will contain links to help you. Discord's latest update (April 15th) includes a forced #arbitration clause. Long story short, you do not want this. If you are a #Discord user, take the time to opt out NOW
05:27 PM - Apr 19, 2024
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DB COOPER
A
Just joined from Post News.
Help me find friends from post.
11:09 AM - Apr 19, 2024
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