Snarky Mommy
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Hi, I’m a mom of two who works full time outside the home and my hobbies include being pulled in multiple directions at all times and feeling like I’m never doing enough, nice to meet you.
07:51 AM - Feb 12, 2023
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TheCiscoKidder
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Replying, "I'd still do you," after my wife complains that she feels fat and gross was not the right thing to say. I know this now.
01:48 PM - Feb 26, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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6: what’s 3+1?

Me: 4

6: noooo it’s 3

Me: 3+1 is 4

6: nooooo it’s 3

Me:

6: the 1 is silent
11:44 AM - Feb 25, 2023
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mom mom mom mom mom
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11:29 PM - Feb 24, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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Who needs souvenirs from a trip with kids when you can come back with sleep deprivation?
02:54 PM - Feb 24, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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Did you pack that picture I made three days ago but haven’t brought up since and that I didn’t even hint at wanting to keep until just now?

- my 6yo, about to be very disappointed
02:09 PM - Feb 24, 2023
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TheCiscoKidder
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I read that taking cold showers hardens your immune system but I bet it also turns you into a serial killer.
12:56 PM - Feb 24, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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Traveling with kids is all about adjusting your expectations. Will you enjoy it? Parts of it, maybe. Will it be relaxing? No. Will everyone get along? Definitely not. But as long as you know all that going into it, you’ll be fine.
09:59 PM - Feb 23, 2023
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TheCiscoKidder
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Always thought I could never run for office because I spent a night in jail 25 years ago, but that seems to be a requirement for republicans.
09:55 PM - Feb 23, 2023
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Breakfast
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This is my kid's first year in school and I was not prepared to send him to the life size petri dish that is an elementary school classroom.
01:51 PM - Feb 15, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel.
11:32 AM - Feb 23, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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I was complaining about my grey hair and my 13yo goes, “people know you’re old, mom, it’s obvious you’re not 25”. How dare he truth me like this.
02:28 PM - Feb 22, 2023
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Ennui Doofen
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I wish more people would ask me if I'm happy, do I know it and tell me to clap my hands
06:41 AM - Feb 22, 2023
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mom mom mom mom mom
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my kid is yelling “JESUS RICE!” as I usher him out the door and I should be mad or upset or something but I am just trying really hard not to laugh
09:12 AM - Feb 13, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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My 6yo has this uncanny ability to get sick the day we’re supposed to go somewhere and I feel like this is something introverts would pay good money for.
12:03 PM - Feb 21, 2023
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Ennui Doofen
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my primary source of oxygen is gasping at all the stupidity
09:47 AM - Feb 16, 2023
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TheCiscoKidder
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Never call your kids knuckleheads and then when they get upset, look it up and read aloud the definition. I know this now.
08:28 PM - Feb 20, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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I look at vacation rentals way too often for someone who doesn’t like packing or leaving her house.
02:29 PM - Feb 20, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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“I will always love you, even when you die!”

- my 6yo, who always manages to make the sweetest gestures sound unsettling
07:50 AM - Feb 20, 2023
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Denis Gagne
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09:06 PM - Feb 14, 2023
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mom mom mom mom mom
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have kids so they can run into your room at six am yelling, “MOM ITS THE WEEKEND! WE DON’T HAVE TO WAKE UP BECAUSE ITS THE WEEKEND!”
10:16 AM - Feb 11, 2023
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mom mom mom mom mom
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Told 4 about a link where astronauts were reading stories in space for kids to watch.

“That’s a terrible idea!” she says. “They shouldn’t be reading while they’re driving!”
03:05 PM - Feb 15, 2023
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Jono
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Can't stop thinking about that great coffee I made this morning. I hope it's doing well where I left it in my entry way
07:55 AM - Feb 14, 2023
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Jono
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"watch out for the coffee table" I caution my daughter, as I walk face first into the door
09:00 AM - Feb 15, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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My husband and I have different parenting styles - he thinks I should be less hands on to help the kids be more independent and I think he should remember to offer them food/water when I’m not around.
10:47 AM - Feb 19, 2023
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TheCiscoKidder
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Where are these woke mobs republicans keep talking about? Do they mean parades?
09:10 AM - Feb 19, 2023
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Ennui Doofen
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Sorry I didn't attend your thing, I had an itch I couldn't reach & things absolutely spiraled from there
02:36 PM - Feb 18, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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When my kids grow up, I’m gonna go to their house and ask for food and then change my mind the second they give it to me.
04:55 PM - Feb 18, 2023
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Snarky Mommy
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My 6yo: Claire and Paul threw up in class yesterday!

Me: oh no!

My 6yo: and they sit at my table so I got to see it up close!

Me: oh noooooo *grabs the throw up bowl*
10:58 AM - Feb 18, 2023
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That Mom Tho
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every day that goes by that i don’t buy a birthday cake as an adult is a day wasted
09:28 PM - Feb 17, 2023
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That Mom Tho
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I’m proud to announce I am dedicating the rest of my life to carbs and cheese
10:53 PM - Feb 17, 2023
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